Skill Use Put to Work

we have been in the hospital for the last 10 days.. it was the last place i would of thought that i would be having to use my DBT skills, but it was where i think we were using them the most this time.. matter of fact it started not even 2 hours after we arrived there on the unit that we were tested to a point with a staff member that we had to face our DBT skills quickly to figure out how to handle it.. heres what happened..

a phone call came in on one of the patient lines that we were sitting by.. it was for someone on the unit.. of course we didnt know anyone cause we had just arrived there that morning.. so we went up to the nurses station to let them know the person had a call (like we had always known to do at that hospital as well as what all the other patients are told to do).. that way they could page the person to the phone.. the secretary lady gave a nasty look to us and said in a harsh tone, "When a person gets a call, your suppose to get up and go look/find the person." we were stunned and stood there shocked by this womans comment and attitude toward us.. here we are.. just arriving that morning.. not knowing anyone or who anyone is.. who can we find someone we dont know.. i think we stood there just amazed.. frustration soon just filled us.. and we left and went to our room.. we sat in our room thinking.. knowing we would have to handle this and not just let it go..

we know our DBT skills.. we know pretty much how to use them.. and when to.. after we calmed down we went back out to the nurses station to confront the woman.. we knew she had no right speaking to us that way.. so we approached the office and knocked.. she answered the door.. there was a nurses aid in the office also.. we felt better about that so at least she could be a witness that we were saying nothing rude to her..

we told her.. "it hurt our feelings when you said that.. we dont know anybody or any of the patients in here.. we just got here today." She replied sharply, "oh well im sorry i hurt your feelings!" and rolled her eyes.. we just continued with what we were saying.. "we all come in places like this because we have problems, we dont need more added to them.." (we started to choke back tears) "give us a few days to learn peoples names in here ok?" this time the woman backed up some.. and in a much softer tone she said, "ok and im sorry."

before learning these skills of proper communication we would have either flown off the wall at her or just held our silence and been completely passive and walked away with our heads buried down.. walking around in pain never approaching anyone on their actions and/or behaviors.. but we have gotten a little stronger and can some now..

just because someone may have a higher status than you, or better job, or earn more money, or seem to be more knowledgable or have better skills than you it does not matter.. everyone can be confronted on their actions and behaviors when they are rude or innapropriate.. everyone also makes mistakes.. whether or not the listen is up to them, but for us we will not stop figuring out better ways to use our skills in all areas of our lives.. it wont all take place overnight though.. its a process and one to work at every single day.. sometimes - even hour to hour - or minute to minute.. but it does get easier in time..

Peace, Love & Harmony to all..

K