Beautiful Impressions

theres been many many times over the last several months that ive wanted to write about something - someone.. who has been on my heart.. in my thoughts and prayers.. many times ive started writing an email to.. a letter to.. or send a thinking of you gift to.. but then i get scared.. so one of my inner ones.. jamie.. mentioned to me about writing a letter on paper but not sending it.. just to get the words out i wanted to say.. so a week ago i did that.. it helped alot.. but i still think of this old friend we knew.. wishing she knew how i felt.. or at least wishing she knew she was in my thoughts and not forgotten..

there are so many people who come and go into our lives.. some we dont know long enough to get the chance to really find out much about them and their lives.. their are others we quickly find out that are not good for us to be around and that we have to shelter ourselves from in order to keep ourselves safe from harm.. then..... there are others.. who come into our lives like beautiful gardens.. that bring us such sunshine.. and inrich our lives with more than we could ever ask for.. the joy in conversations we share.. the understanding through the hard times.. the tears shared on both ends through happy and sad times.. and for both parties to know they had a shoulder to lean on helped so much..

then... something happens.. and its all lost.. communication starts to fail.. talking through computers is hard enough you cant hear the other persons tone, expressions and sometimes exactly how things are actually put and said.. distance in the friendship gets worse and worse.. making communication even harder.. so when you try to start communicating again theres some tension there.. disappointment.. hurt.. maybe even anger.. theres fighting.. disagreements.. then trying hard to start over and over when hurt is still there from words said earlier in disagreements..

i wish i had had the oppertunity to be there side by side with that friend.. and share with her.. how much i loved.. and still love her.. how much i wished i could of taken jesse's eraser she wrote about and erased all those times like that.. and that i wish she could of heard my voice speaking gently to her and not in a harsh tone all those times she thought i was speaking harsh.. upset or angry..

i would want her to know how much she was a true blessing in my life.. how much she taught me.. and how much i appreciated her every day.. how much i appreciated all the encouraging things she said to me.. how she stood by me.. and loved me when i couldnt love myself..

... and.. how much of a beautiful impression she has made not only in my life.. but in our entire systems lives..

ive made mistakes in my life.. im sure everyone has.. im not perfect.. im only human.. i can only ask forgiveness for those mistakes i make.. to stand back up again.. to do my best to learn from those mistakes.. and keep moving forward.. but to always pray for the help i and guidance i need in making not only our lives better but the lives that we come into contact with better too.. even if its with a good morning smile.. or a conversation about their day.. or offering to help them with something..

so.. this morning.. id like to wish all out there a good day.. or as my old friend taught me.. lets see if i can remember..

G' day mate!
in my thoughts.. (((((((((((((((((((((B)))))))))))))))))))

much love..

K