step by step

session on friday didnt go anywhere like we had wanted it to.. the beginning of it was just horrible.. our anger was just flaring.. and seemed almost impossible to get control of it and calm it down.. we were raising our voice.. shaking in anger.. and just being disrespectful by not allowing our t to finish her sentences before we started butting in.. we dont think we really had any idea what was going on with us.. our anger was so out of control.. and the anger really had nothing to do with our t.. the anger was at ourselves.. but yet we were just so ready to blow off our steam on her.. NOT COOL..

somehow we didnt know how but we had to get a hold of it.. and we dont know how we did.. with it being now the weekend and us just now getting back on here and writing its hard for us to remember how it happened.. we know we finally calmed down for the most of it and spent time talking to our t in the rest of session on friday..

we still are not sure whats going on with us.. with us being ok for just a few days.. and then within the next few days we are so down.. sobbing.. depressed.. full of rage.. and do worse.. its been getting worse over these last few months.. the days of being ok are not lasting as long.. and the days of being down are hitting much harder and stronger.. this last one really scared us.. the rage in it really scared us..

we know we need help with this if we just knew what was wrong with us.. we are going to work hard to stay through this.. we know there is help out there.. we cant give up.. we want to feel better..